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Baca Juga
Baca Juga
Kenapa ye gadis zaman skg bila ajak buat m@ksiat bagi free je ..bila ajak kahwin kena bayar mahal pelik
Kenapa Tak Perlu Hantaran Perkahwinan yang Mahal.
Assalamualaikum
Hello lelaki yang akan gelak dan perempuan yang akan geram sekalian.
Korang ingat tak entry aku yang lalu yang bertajuk "Adat vs Agama : Bertunang dan Berkahwin"? Dalam entry tu, aku ada bercakap tentang bayaran wang hantaran yang tinggi.
Dan di entry tersebut ada sebuah comment yang di tulis oleh girl yang bernama Shazlin. Comment dia agak panjang dan menarik sebenarnya. Di sebabkan itu, aku membuat keputusan untuk mereply segalanya dalam sebuah entry.
Mari kita tengok komennya.
Now, mari kita jawab commentnya pula.
"Ko expect pmpuan baik, pandai masak, pandai layan suami, pandai suma segala segi, then nak kasi hntaran kawin ciput je? Baik ko langgan mak nyah je. Nak murah sgt kn? Zzzz.."
Hai, first of all, nice comment. Secondly, kau jangan doe. Kau jangan sekali-kali suruh lelaki langgan mak nyah. Kang kalau seluruh lelaki di Malaysia betul-betul terpikat kat maknyah macam mana? Kau ingat maknyah tak superb ke? Kau ingat mak nyah tak ada sambutan ke? Kau ingat maknyah tak ada yang muka Nora Danish ke? Perh. Meh sini Abang K citer sikit. Beberapa minggu lepas, Abang K (Ehem) ada keluar dengan member then lepak-lepak dekat port mak nyah kat Kuantan ni. Kiteorang datang dua kereta tau. Kiranya dalam 8-9 orang lah jugak. Then pusing punya pusing, kereta member aku tu dah mengala ke jalan lain. Aku pun tersesat. Then bila sesat tu, aku usha-usha la sekeliling then aku perasan yang ada banyak gila kereta dan motor masuk. Ada moto, ada van, ada kereta. Kalau yang van tu, perh, siap boleh berhenti tengah jalan lagi beb. Kalau berhenti sebab rosak tak apa. Ni siap berhenti sebab nak buat projek. Kat situ dia berhenti, kat situ lah dia buat projek. See? Betapa ganasnya penangan Mak ngah. Tapi jangan risau. Abang K straight orangnya. Ehem,
Then, kau tau, maknyah zaman sekarang pakai tudung youuuuu. Pergi surau pun pakai tudung. Tak percaya kau call Ustaz Badli Shah. Entah-entah masa maknyah tunggu kat dark velly pun diaorang pakai tudung. Tu belum kira bab maknyah tu semua siap pakai baju kurung. Korang? Ada pakai tudung? Ada baju kurung? Mana adaa.
Then, itu belum lagi kira mak nyah yang lemah gemalainya macam sotong. Umpama sotong yang ditiup angin beb. Korang? Dah la tak lembut. Tak ayu. Keras dari lelaki pulak tu. Then ada hati nak mintak wang hantaran mahal-mahal. Boleh jalan daaaa. HAHA.
"Aku bukan la nak cakap kawin ni mesti mahal-mahal segala segi. But come on, kalau boleh biar la perkahwinan ni sekali je dalam hidup ni boleh dikenang sampai bila-bila. One more thing, ko phm ke apa maksud membazir sebenarnye? Menurut understanding in Islam word membazir tu hanya layak diguna kan kalau orang tu tak berkemampuan but still nak belanja macam-macam."
Nooo, fahaman kau salah. kau tahu tak apa maksud membazir? Even kalau kau ambil wuduk, then masa ambil wudu tu, korang basuh tangan korang 4 kali, itu dah di kira membazir tahu? Dan, why we must spend the whole thing on one marriage kalau kita boleh gunakan untuk the other 3? Just sayin' okay. Just saying. I'm not talking like lelaki suka kahwin empat. What? Lelaki suka kahwin empat? Pfffff.
"Tak ukur baju pada badan sendiri. Kalau orang tu jutawan, anak orang berada, dia mampu kot. Lantak pi la dia bersanding naik kereta kuda ke ape sebab benda-benda tu tak mendatangkan kemudaratan kat dia. So, dia still ada duit yang cukup untuk tampung bini and family dia. Got it what i mean?"
Got got. Sure got. Sure got. So, as long dia ada cukup duit untuk tampung bini dan family dia, kiranya okay lah kan untuk berbelanja lebih. Then how the heck itu tak termasuk dalam kahwin empat? Kahwin empat kira berbelanja lebih la. Tapi as long dia boleh tampung ke empat-empat bini *Ehem* dia, then apa masalahnya? Kan? Got it what I mean? HEHE.
"Ko kene paham, isteri akan memperhambakan seumur hdup dekat suami dia. 100% hidup dia hanyalah untuk suami dia. Tu baru kawin. Belum ada anak lagi. Ingat senang ke nak besarkan anak? Lelaki taw buat anak je."
Hold on. Hold on right there, girl. Aku tertarik dengan ayat kau yang berbunyi "Lelaki taw buat anak je". Ohh. Ohhhhh adakah anda sedang cuba menyatakan yang membuat anak itu adalah suatu perkara senang? Fuh. Itu statement pedih doe. Statement pedih. For your information, ladies. You ingat nak buat baby tu senang ke? Mari sini Abang K cerita sikit *Whip hair*. Pernah tak you girls try search kat Google menggunakan keyword "How to make a Baby"? Yaa, seperti di bawah.
Nampak tak? Korang tahu tak berapa ramai orang yang Google "How to make a Baby"?. Yaa Ada berjuta hits. Dan korang tahu tak apa maksudnya. Maksudnya, nak make baby tu bukan perkara mudah. And to make a baby, firstly you must.... Oh nevermind. You will learn it anyway.
"Nak lahirkan anak lg satu hal. *Note that sakit beranak adalah sakit kedua lepas sakit mati. Again ko nak expect belanja kawin biar ciput je? Bini la yang kena masak, kena lipat baju, kemas umah. Layan anak, layan suami, again ko nk kawin belanja ciput"
Siaaaaaaaapa kata bini nak kena memasak, lipat baju dan kemas rumah? Mana ada. Zaman sekarang semua pakat main bibik taw. I mean semua pakat upah bibik. Lagi pun, please. Korang tahu kan bibik indon macam mana? Comel, putih, gebu, rajin beb. Kalau korang tak nak masak, lipat baju and kemas rumah; tak der hal. Kitaorang lelaki tak kisah. Kami kaum lelaki memang berniat nak kerja sekuat mungkin supaya dapat banyak duit. Bila dah dapat banyak duit, kami upah la bibik yang comel, putih, gebu dan rajin. Bukan apa, kami hanya kesian tengok isteri kami kepenatan setiap hari sebab tu la kami suka sangat upah bibik. See? Betapa baiknya lelaki. You girls apa tahu. Tahu bebel je. Pastu suka sangat kata kami ni gatal nak tackle bibik. Peh-lis. Those bibik are cute. You girls can't blame us for being a man. Pfff.
"And hellooo. Make up pon ko nak bising. Zzz. Bole je mintak mak andam make up in natural way. It's not a big deal pon. memang ada beza sebelum mekap and lepas make up. Takkan ko nak expect muka bini ko yg penuh jerawat*berminyak+mata lebam sbb xckup tdo * maklumla stress pikir pasal kawin, again ko suro bini ko jangan mekap lngsung? mmg bagusla suma tetamu dtg gelakkan ko ngn bini ko sebab macam pengantin zombie.. Lain la kalau muka bini ko tu mmg lawa mcm aku..opsss..come on..low ur guard a bit..open your mind."
Oh girl. Oh girl. I really don't get this. Kalau kau nak jemput mak andam make up natural way, baik korang make up sendiri. Please, kalau korang suruh mak andam make up, sure jadi macam NI. Iya, macam badut. Then setiap kali tetamu datang. Sure mereka akan senyum. Actually, tetamu tu semua tahan gelak. Mana tak nya, kahwin dengan badut. Dah tu, yang perempuan susah-susah nak pakai make up tebal-tebal buat tu apa? Tengok lelaki, tak tak pakai make up tebal-tebal tak nampak macam zombie pun? Oh oh, mungkin sebab lelaki Malaysia semuanya muka suci-suci sebab tu lah even tak bermakup tebal still nampak suci. Tension macam mana pun, muka tetap suci. Perempuan? Heh, tak tahu lah perempuan bila tension muka macam mana. Dengar citer, macam zombie. HAHA.
And for your information, jerawat? Apa tu? Sorry I don't speak female and wife aku tak ada jerawat. Tak kisah la macam mana teruk pun masalah jerawat yang dia akan ada, tapi once dia jadi bakal isteri aku, pooff, segala jerawat hilang. You know what I mean? Oh sure you don't. You are not my wife. Oh please I hope not. No, please. Don't.
"Zaman skang suma nya mahal. Satu je tak mahal. Bini. Macam tu ke kau nak?-_- kawin nk murah, pastu ada hati nak kawin empat. Dah taw x mampu lagi mau kawin empat. Typical jantan meleis camni la. Tapi bab yang hadith rasul aku tak leh nak sebut sebab memang betol la sederhana itu berkat. Tapi ko kena paham sederhana cara ko tak sama dengan sederhana cara anak dato'. gt subjektif bnda ni klu ko nk pertikaikan..ape2 pon tepuk dada tny bini..haha."
Heyyyyy. Kau tau tak sepatutnya ayah korang yang bayar kat pihak lelaki? Korang tahu tak? Cer korang tengok eh. Sebenarnya, si bapak suka kalau ada lelaki nak kahwin dengan anak perempuan dia. Korang tahu kenapa? Sebab bila ada lelaki kahwin dengan anak perempuan dia, si bapak dah tak akan tanggung dosa anak perempuan nya tu. Iye lah. Anak perempuan ada 10. Yang sorang tu tak pakai tudung. Yang sorang tu suka ringan-ringan. Yang sorang tu suka pergi disko clubbing (sebut "disko" bunyinya macam orang zaman dulu-dulu). Dan macam-macam lagi lah perangai. Dah tu, setiap dosa anak-anak perempuan tu si ayah tanggung. And then, bila ada lelaki yang.. ehem... baik, pemurah, handsome, dan kacak bergaya apply nak jadi sukarelawan untuk tanggung dosa si anak, why the heck you think si bapa tak setuju? Aku bet ah si bapa akan kata:
"Ooooohhhhh, kau nak ganti aku tanggung dosa anak perempuan aku? Ohhh God, thanks, dude."
Seee? Bila ada lelaki yang nak jadi suami korang, dia sepatutnya di bayar sebab dia yang akan tanggung semua dosa korang. Tapi, korang pulak sedap-sedap mintak mahal eh? Banyak cantik.
Aku rasa korang pun tahu yang setiap kali si isteri dedahkan aurat dia, setiap kali itu lah si suami dapat dosa. Sebab tu lah aku pernah kata yang kalau aku nampak isteri aku freehair kat luar rumah, aku akan potong Kepala dia then flush dalam lubang tandas. Fuh, baru puas hati. Oh no no no. No no. Im just joking Lisa Surihani. Just joking. Relax. We are cool hunny. We are cool. You are safe with me.
So, tell me again why the heck si lelaki perlu bagi hantaran yang mahal kat si gadis? Sebab si gadis nak make up macam badut? Sebab si gadis tak kasi kahwin empat? Lagi pun, apa daaa korang. Compete dengan maknyah pun tak lepas, ada hati nak mintak wang hantaran mahal-mahal. HAHAHA
Are you mad? Are you mad?
Baca Juga
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Kenapa ye gadis zaman skg bila ajak buat m@ksiat bagi free je ..bila ajak kahwin kena bayar mahal pelik
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Oleh
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